


Paradox

by RobberBaroness



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: 30 Day Dark Fandom Challenge, Emotional Infidelity, F/M, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-01
Updated: 2013-12-01
Packaged: 2018-01-03 04:22:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1065713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobberBaroness/pseuds/RobberBaroness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not all infidelity consists of an affair.  Sometimes, the sharing of secrets is enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Paradox

**Author's Note:**

> For the 30 Day Dark Fandom Challenge. Prompt: Forbidden relationships.

There are ways of being unfaithful without a single kiss. She would have walked away without another word if he’d tried it, and he would have regarded an outright attempt at seduction on her part to be terribly crass. They understood each other, and were far too ethical (or at least, mindful of decorum) to even consider an affair. But that didn’t mean that Hannibal didn’t envision himself dancing with Bella, breathing in her soft perfume, perhaps brushing her hair away from her lovely neck. And it didn’t mean Bella didn’t wonder what it would feel like to be in his arms, and whether he had a heart that was capable of breaking for her.

It was only natural for a married woman to occasionally wonder about the other men she’d forever forsworn, and Hannibal in return was not blind to her charms. But though all they shared were secrets of sickness and distrust that she could not tell Jack, that was enough to make her feel as if she was betraying him. The next step after an emotional affair was a physical one, and that was where the road would lead, even if they never arrived there.

Sometimes Hannibal had fantasies about what would happen if Jack died (not by his hand, of course, but it was a dangerous profession.) Bella would have enough time to need comfort, and not enough to uncover his secrets. He was not yet far gone enough not to realize how callous that line of thought was, but he had it nonetheless. Callousness was a hazard of his inclinations.

Bella could talk to him about everything- almost everything. If one of them had spoken the words, the spell would have been broken. She would have been an adulteress, and he would have been a doctor who took advantage of his vulnerable patients (in a more vulgar way than he usually did.) All they had were private minutes together, and the fact that what they felt was forbidden by their own private rules only made their time more precious.

Talking was not enough, not by far, but if they took it any farther it would destroy everything. Quite the paradox.

“Jack questions my love for him,” she told Hannibal one day. “He thinks the fact that I kept my health a secret means I don’t value him.”

“Is that true?”

“Even if he doesn’t know better, you should. Just because I keep things to myself doesn’t mean I don’t feel for him. But...”

But she could not tell to him what she could tell to Hannibal, nonetheless. The difference between him and Jack, perhaps, was that Hannibal could tell what it was that she could never say.


End file.
